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5/26/08 "Certainties"

“In this world, nothing can be said to be certain except for death and taxes.” said Benjamin Franklin.

Well, I must say that I disagree. I think there are plenty of things that seem just as certain in life. Take these, for example:

1. When you have only two items to buy, all of the checkout lanes at the grocery store will be at least 3 people deep, and those people will each have an overflowing cart-full, even in the express lane.

2. The first sunny warmer-than-usual early spring day will end, for many of us, with a lovely case of sunburn.

3. The car will be working absolutely perfectly when you arrive at the mechanic’s shop, even though for the past 10 miles people you drove past stared in wonder at the amazing sounds, fumes, and smoke coming from your vehicle.

4. The baby will cry, the dog will bark, the phone will ring, or perhaps all three will occur, just as you’re dropping off to sleep after an exhausting day.

5. Grandma will be ready to greet with a hug, and maybe cookies as well.

See what I mean?

By the way, I threw that last one in because, believe it or not, not all certainties in life are bad, although death and taxes may be more preferable to the embarrassment you feel while driving that aforementioned vehicle (and you know you’ve had one like that!) along past more pedestrians than there are ever about when you’re driving a normal car. Guaranteed.

All this brings us to the point of today’s topic (and I know you’ve been waiting anxiously): our own (ie. North Star Orchard) certainty (call it a guarantee if you like). It’s not like we have this notion posted in prominent places, but it does exist. Our policy has always been that if there is something not-quite-right with something you buy from us, we’ll replace it with a similar or different item of your choosing.

It is a certainty that there is no gadget like x-ray specs that allow us to peer inside a freshly-picked fruit or veggie to make sure that it’s 100% ideal. So certainly there will be occasions when a piece of fruit or a vegetable we grow and harvest might be less-than-perfect. We can do our best visually, but they do slip by, especially when the less-than-perfectitude occurs inside the darned thing.

But hey, none of us is 100% perfect either…that’s a certainty just as much as death and taxes. But we grin and bear it just the same, especially if we get a tax refund. Nothing is perfect, so flaws can certainly be expected from time to time in produce. Sometimes we can grin and bear it. In fact sometimes, it can be rather cool, like an odd-shaped eggplant that has what looks like a nose on it, or the occasional butt-shaped apple or plum (really!).

Now I’ll never be able to avoid that first spring sunburn, but if you are unhappy with some piece of produce you received from us, I’d like you to let us know so that we can replace it. It is a certainty for me - that North Star Orchard friends and supporters are as happy as when they get those cookies from grandma.